Do's and Don'ts in a Marriage by Angelica Imhoede | Graphic Designer Story

Photo provided by Angelica Imhoede

"People may not remember everything you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel".

- Jeff Bezos

My husband and I met in the fall of 2011. We met through mutual friends who had been trying to hook us up all year long and it finally happened in November of 2011. I remember meeting my husband on that fall night and finding an instant attraction. It was kind of strange because he did take my breath away that night. Like me, he was infatuated with me as well, staying by my side all night, buying me drinks, taking my hand, and giving me his jacket when I was cold. My girlfriends that I was with could tell there was something special about him. They all started whispering with me one by one telling me that they could tell he liked me. I, of course, was pretty shocked myself, no one had ever made me feel the way he made me feel. 
Photo provided by Angelica Imhoede

As corny as it sounds, I was pretty sure we were both in love at first sight. At the end of the night, we exchanged numbers and he called me the next day to tell me that he would like to see me again and take me out. Since it was around Thanksgiving, we went out the Wednesday before the holiday. When I got into his car, or so I thought was his car, he quickly explained it was his dad's car and his car got a flat tire on the way back from work. 

"He then told me something shocking, he actually left his car on I-94 and walked back home, asked his dad to take his car and he would deal with his car later." 

I told him why he didn't just cancel, he said he knew I wouldn't believe him and he did not want to disappoint me so soon. 

Photo provided by Angelica Imhoede

Photo provided by Angelica Imhoede

At that moment I knew he was the one, a few days later after thanksgiving we went on our second date, he showed up with a dozen roses and card that said "Will you be my girl? I, of course, said yes and the rest is history. We dated for a year and got engaged and married August 2014. At the beginning of 2017, we welcomed our son and became proud parents. We celebrated our five years this month on August 16th, 2019. It is a testament to everything we have gone through as a couple. As beautiful as our story started, we had our share of ups and downs and challenges over the years, but I've learned some "do's and don'ts" being a married woman. 

Photo provided by Angelica Imhoede

- Always stay committed and dedicated to your partner. As long as the person is not doing anything to hurt you or themselves, work through the challenges. No one is perfect, and you should always practice forgiveness with your spouse, it essential for the longevity of the relationship.  

- Be kind, even when you're mad. Now I had a short fuse and a mouth on me, so I can cut with my words. My husband is a words person, they have the power to build him and tear him down. I've learned to not use my words as weapons anymore because they can have lasting effects on how my husband will interact with me.

-Spend time with each other. As parents it's very easy for our little guy to take a lot of our time, but I truly believe if we're good, our son will be good. We put our marriage first and go on dates and travel without him because that's important. Before our son, there was my husband, so I need to always take care of my relationship as a priority.

-Never stop someone from their dreams or goals. One of the reasons I love my husband is because I'm myself with him and he never makes me into someone I'm not. I don't have to cook, clean, do laundry, or be this 1950's wife. I can travel with friends, go out for drinks, and do whatever I want. He never stops me from being an individual. 

- Never Lie or be dishonest. Trust is a value that my husband and I established early on in our relationship through our actions. I take loyalty very serious, so to be disloyal or dishonest would never work for me. I know that without trust, we wouldn't have made it.

- Don't Nag! This is mostly for the ladies because we do it and we shouldn't; men don't like it. Learn to communicate in a way that gets your concerns across more effectively. Men listen, it's all about the delivery.

- Never Control Your Spouse. I've learned this along the 8 years we've been together if I try to control my husband or a situation with my husband it won't work. We have to make the other person feel free in their own decisions or thoughts. Trust me they will come around if what you're saying makes total sense. 

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Short Bio of Angelica Imhoede, as a Graphic Designer

My name is Angelica Imhoede, I've been a designer in the Twin Cities for a little over 4 years now. I work with entrepreneurs and small business owners in their early stages of growing their business by helping them with websites, brand content, and logos. My goal is to create a marketing incubator for my clients, where they can get all marketing-related resources in a one-stop-shop that will launch them into the market. 

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